Open Love Letter to my Eric bear!

I wrote this letter on December 27, 2007 on my blog page on

Open Love Letter – Accept or leave me alone

Like everybody knows, there’s always a life before a relationship. Not saying that life stops when in a relationship. Life is even more intensive having a partner on your side. And I’m the luckiest woman in the world, to call Eric my man. He’s charming, loving, strong, brave, amazing … oh my, there are soooo many awesome words in this world to describe him and also there will never be enough words in this world about how much I love him, how much I feel for him. Not even the most beautiful word in this world can discribe my deep, true and real emotions I feel for him. And no mind other than his and mine will ever be able to grasp the deep connection we have. And people who never experienced what Eric and me experience right now will ever understand that this is possible. Yes, all these pessimists are right, that we never met in reality before. But this doesn’t matter to us. Actually we think it’s ten times better meeting this way than starting off with sex. You don’t want to understand that? Fine with me. But leave me alone giving me shit about it. Even that I try to explain my emotions here you will never have a clue about my feelings for Eric. He’s my sunshine on a cloudy rainy day. He’s my pillow when I need to whine about anything. He makes me happy, even that he’s thousands of miles away from me. He’s my anchor windward. Just knowing how much he feels for me and that we are together makes me feel complete. Our minds, hearts and souls speak to each other. Or like he phrased it: “Knowing a reunion on day to come, For now soul speaking as we are one”. During the last couple weeks Eric became the biggest part in my life. And I made it to my, call it mission, duty, assignment, to motivate him during his deployment. To keep him smiling at the other end of the world, at a place where it seems no God of any religion, no higher power at all is present. I’m his driving force while he’s there. I can’t wait to have him in my arms. To kiss him, cuddle with him, giving him all kind of love I am able to give, to drink and be goofy with him. I want to START THE CONTINUATION OF OUR LOVE LIFE TOGETHER. At the end I have to tell you, that if you have been a friend with benefits before my relationship, don’t expect me to hook up with you for that kinda friendship. I AM FAITHFUL. If you can’t deal with the fact that I AM TAKEN than you have to deal with the fact I can’t be your friend no more.


I Miss My Soldier

My amazing Eric bear,

The thought of you is so familiar and constant upon my mind that any distraction but even for a moment leaves my heart wanting and wishing for your return. You have this woman’s heart overflowing with desire for your presence. If for nothing more than a soft kiss upon your hand or a touch upon your cheek, I want. The thoughts created from within your mind amaze me. Hours, years and lifetimes of light and in deep conversation could be enjoyed between us. From the beauty of a summer’s day or the color of your eyes to the folding of time and space or the beginning of a new life, I could be absorbed in sharing thoughts, ideas and dreams with you forever and beyond.

To hear your voice elates me. The thought of you makes me smile. The thought of you unhappy, just as easily crushes me. You have affected me in so many ways. The adrenalin runs through my body with overwhelming desire for you; I hope that your reaction is not unlike my own. It seems that my heart has nearly come to the point where my mind has no words to relay the passion felt within. A fire grows daily. From wanting, desiring, and needing more. Yes much more.

I wish that I knew, whether my feelings were my own or were also shared by you. Not that I require such attention but the lack of it causes wonder if my emotions are directed but not returned. But even through this uncertainty, my desire continues to grow.
Each morning as I rise and each night as I lay my mind returns to you. And throughout the day I anticipate the chance to hear your voice and hear the words to put my mind at ease, saying that you have feelings for me, a desire to continue on a path that leads to us.

I long for you until you come back and we’ll can start out continuation!