Lonely night, still head up high

He is out. He is on a mission. No email. No word to read. No call. No word to hear. Three days are over. Seven more to go. And the question I hear is: Is it hard not to hear from him? Of course it is. Seriously, what kind of a question is that. How do you feel? is another question. I feel empty inside. I feel that loneliness coming over me. But I know he loves me and I love him too. I’m sending out my love to him, like a guardian angel putting its wings around him. Are you worried? is the next question. Uhm, what? Of course I’m worried. Even if he tells me I should not be worried. But I am. Try to control feelings. It is not possible. They come and go. So my worries come and go. And every time they come back they hit me even harder. Long restless nights are behind me and more long restless nights are coming. Like tonight. I am supposed to sleep. For maybe three hours already. But my thoughts of him are so strong, that my mind cannot find any rest. And when I try to close my eyes his face appears. With that lovely big smile and those clear blue eyes. A smile I cannot wait to see in front of me. Smiling back at me when I smile at him. I am not trying to measure the distance between Eric and me, I try to measure our love for each other. But distance can be a dagger in the heart of two lovers. In the same time distance between two hearts is not an obstacle, rather a great reminder of just strong true love can be.

Every single day I have that warm feeling in my chest and my heart beats fast and strong when I think of the day I will be finally able to hold my dear love in my arms. I want to hold him close. I want to feel his arms wrapped around my body. Until this day will come I will be strong and will keep my head up high. I will count down every single minute, hour, day, week and month until Eric and I will be together. And every single day which passes by brings us closer to each other. But for now I just want that mission to be over.